So, after wandering the 'net for a bit, I have aquired a certain hatred for trolls that rivals Thorrs. Now, I don't mean people who troll in a cheeky way, or even those who troll the trolls. The first is really more pranking, which can be funny, and the latter is giving an ass their comeuppance. what I am talking about is the jagoffs who either say stupid shit and then claim they were trying to provoke a reaction, or those who are truly just trying to piss people off.so, here goes:
Rule 1: Never feed the trolls.
This does not mean do not react to the trolls, but more do not play their game. Do not try to convince them of their error, do not argue with them, and above all, do not show your anger. this is because you cannot fight stupid with stupid. That path only leads to dissapointment, and Yoda told us wher dissapointment leads....
Rule 2: Trolls cannot abide their reflection.
One way to get a troll to quit their bullshit is to troll them back. One caution here is that you must not only follow rule 1, but you must be cheeky and intelligent when you troll a troll, otherwise they will become confused. When trolls are confused, they get enraged, and are likely to charge....
Rule 3: If you have to take a moment to determine if they are trolling, or if they are just that stupid, always treat them as if they are that stupid.
This rule is for a few reasons. If someone is deliberately trying to provoke a reaction by saying something incredibly stupid, talking to them as if they were a simpleminded child will make their attempt at trolling blow up in their face. IT is also because trolls are generally not too bright when they are using such an obvious tactic to provoke a reaction. Plus, it is fun to simultaneously talk down to someone by using small words while demonstrating that you are more than capable of using polysyllabic words.
Rule 4: If someone says something that is ignorant,offensive, or both, and later claims to be trolling, call them out.
Yes, I am advocating the nuclear option, it is the only way to be sure. This is because people who are far less intelligent than they think they are have a habit of saying incredibly dumbass things. This habit, in turn, has the unpleasant result of people flaming them for their monstrously poor judgement in saying something the rest of us know to keep to ourselves. Well, these folks have it in their head that they can claim that they were " trolling," or the internet version of " I was only kidding," or " can't you take a joke." Well, I believe that if you have to tell someone it was a joke, it wasn't. So light these asholes up, go thermonuclear, hell, use the neutron bomb if you got it. Call them out as being full of shit, and tell them that what they said was intentional, and that you are truly offended that they would say such a thing, even as an attempt to troll people, hell, make up a long, deeply personal story about how whatever they said affected you/ affected a loved one/ brought up a bed memory, or for sheer force ofmaking them feel like an asshole, how their offensive post triggered memories so traumatic that you started wetting the bed again. Or simply put, make it your mission to make them feel like such a degenerate lackwit for attempting to pass off their inability to use the " would I get punched in the face for saying this" filter that they stop posting for at least a week.
Rule 5; Have a sense of humour.
While trolls are obnoxious, degenerate, basement dwelling morons who give morons a bad name, don't take them too seriously. This deprives them of food, and keeps your blood pressure down. Plus, I f you have a sense of humour about the troll, you can have fun at their expense....
